Groucho Marx

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you're got it made."

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

David Bowie

"I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously."

"I get offered so many bad movies. And they're all raging queens or transvestites or martians."

"I'm not a prophet or a stone aged man, just a mortal with potential of a superman. I'm living on."

"I think fame itself is not a rewarding thing. The most you can say is it gets you a seat in restaurants."

"The only thing I ever got out of fame was a better table in a restaurant. And for that I gave up being able to relate to people."

"I once asked Lennon what he thought of what I do. He said 'it's great, but it's just rock and roll with lipstick on.' "

"I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman."

"Sometimes you stumble across a few chords that put you in a reflective place."

"You would think that a rock star being married to a super model would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is."

"It would be my guess that Madonna is not a very happy woman. From my own experience, having gone through persona changes like that, that kind of clawing need to be the center of attention is not a pleasant place to be."

"I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir."

"I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring."

Salma Hayek

"No woman has to be a victim of physical abuse. Women have to feel like they are not alone."

"Life is tough; and if you have the ability to laugh at it, you have the ability to enjoy it."

"I'll tell you, there is nothing better in life than being a late bloomer. I believe that success can happen at any time and at any age."

"I'm good at working, but I'm very good at playing."

"I'm a bit of an abstract figure that people can project their fantasies on; it's pretty much what we all are, otherwise we wouldn't be stars, and people wouldn't be interested.

"If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice."

"Go for the style that fits your body type the best. Have your own voice in the way you dress."

"I want to work for a long, long time and keep growing in my work, and if I am very lucky and very blessed, maybe somewhere along the line there will be one movie in there that becomes a classic."

"I proved to myself that if I believe in something and set my mind to it I could actually accomplish it."

"My heart has been stolen too, but I've gone and got it back every single time!"

"I aim for a lifetime full of movies."

James Cameron

"Pick up a camera. Shoot something. No matter how small, no matter how cheesy, no matter whether your friends and your sister star in it. Put your name on it as director. Now you're a director."

"There are many talented people who haven't fulfilled their dreams because they over thought it, or they were too cautious, and were unwilling to make the leap of faith."

"I don't look at scripts, I just write them."


"I blame it on Walt Disney, where animals are given human qualities. People don't understand that a wild animal is not something that is nice to pat. It can seriously harm you."

"I had read tons of science fiction. I was fascinated by other worlds, other environments. For me, it was fantasy, but it was not fantasy in the sense of pure escapism."

"People call me a perfectionist, but I'm not. I'm a rightist. I do something until it's right, and then I move on to the next thing."

"Imagination is a force that can actually manifest a reality. Don't put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you. Don't do that to yourself. Don't bet against yourself. And take a risk."

"I went from driving a truck to becoming a movie director, with a little time working with Roger Corman in between."

"I was petrified at the start of Terminator. First of all, I was working with a star, at least I thought of him as a star at the time. Arnold came out of it even more of a star."

"I actually started as a model builder and quickly progressed into production design, which made sense because I could draw and paint. But I kept watching that guy over there who was moving the actors around and setting up shots."

Ryan Reynolds

"I remember that coming to America was scary for me because everything here is just bigger, better, shinier, you know?"

"My father was a police officer before he retired. One of my brothers is also a police officer, and I think they kind of expected I would do something along those lines, like become a fireman or something."

"I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place."

"I never took acting classes, but I knew I could do it based on the skill with which I lied to my parents on a regular basis."

"I used to backpack when I was younger. I think I can actually say that I can't do the hostel thing anymore, I'm a little too spoiled."

"I'm always terrified at the beginning. Then I start working and get past my fear, which is a real win for me."

"Usually some of the best stuff comes from having something great on the page already, so you're sort of inspired by it."

"I come from a family of cops, and all of them share that understanding that they put their lives on the line. They share and deal with that sense of risk every day, so I got to see that up close."

"It wasn't until my mid-20s that I began to fall in love with it, and see the possibilities, and embrace all the actor crap that I used to get so embarrassed about. In the early days it was all just about cracking one-liners, not being vulnerable."

Al Pacino

"Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them."

"All due respect and trying to be as modest as I can be, I am a dancer. But I don't think I would be on Dancing With The Stars mainly because I would be too shy."

"An actor with too much money will usually find a way to get rid of it."

"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."


"Every time I'd run into Marlon Brando on set, my face would turn red and I'd start laughing. Have you any idea what it was like to do a scene with Brando? I sat in movie houses when I was a kid watching Brando in A streetcar Named Desire and Viva Zapata! Now I'm playing a scene with him."

"I was a kid when Dean came out. Dean was the inspiration. Even the red jacket he wore in Rebel Without A Cause, you saw that red jacket popping up all over the place. He really reached people in a way; it was kind of a phenomenon when you think of it. I wonder what it would be like today, that kind of a person...he made that connection with his audience. And I remember at that time my mother loved him. He reached everybody."

"When I was doing Scarface, I remember being in love at that time. One of the few times in my life. And I was so glad it was at that time. I would come home and she would tell me about her life that day and all her problems and I remember saying to her, `look, you really got me through this picture', because I would shed everything when I came home."

"I'm an actor, not a star. Stars are people who live in Hollywood and have heart-shaped swimming pools."

"I don't need bodyguards. I'm from the South Bronx."

"Vanity is my favorite sin."

Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher

Demi: "The truth is you can have a great marriage, but there are still no guarantees."

Ashton: "I am only young once, who cares if I'm a goofball."

Demi: "There is no way to reach your fullest potential if you don't really find the love of yourself."

Ashton: "I woke up many mornings not knowing what I'd done the night before. I'm amazed I'm not dead."

Demi: "Don't let your wounds make you become someone you're not."


Ashton: "Modeling is the best because you have to look hot, which comes easy to me, you know. I'm blessed with that."

Demi: "I had worked my whole life. Until I become a mother, that's the only way I measured my value."

Ashton: When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us."

Demi: "I just don't like the idea of having an operation to hold up the aging process."

Ashton: "I say whatever I think and  whatever is on my mind, and I just hope that it comes out good. I just try to have a lot of fun."

Demi: "Family always comes first because that's what you have at the end of your life. Your work is just what we get to do, which is a real gift."

Ashton: It's a great lesson for life too, taking that pause before you do and act and being sure what you're doing is what you want to be doing."

Demi: "Time is an amazing equalizer. I think if you stay true to yourself and keep moving forward, things come around."

Ashton: I guess you could say I am a romantic, I love life and I love people and I love sharing, so I think yes, I am, yes, I would qualify myself as that."

Angelina Jolie

"When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire."

"If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me."

"If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all my different sides of me, I would probably be locked up."

"People say that you're going the wrong way when it's simply a way of your own."


"I like to hide behind the characters I play. Despite the public perception, I am a very private person who has a hard time with the fame thing."

"I don't see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I'm skinny, as if that's supposed to make me happy."

"I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet."

"I struggle with low self-esteem all the time. I think everyone does. I have so much wrong with me, it's unbelievable."

"I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark."

"People will always say all sorts of stuff. Let them. I'm enjoying my life."

"Therapy? I don't need that. The roles that I choose are my therapy."

"I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause."

Clint Eastwood

"Politicians have to make unpopular decisions. Schwarzenegger is going to understand the nature of his job. I wish him good luck, he's going to need it. It's going to be difficult for him."

"I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to control it."

"Sometimes if you want to see change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands."

"I've never met a genius. A genius to me is someone who does well at something he hates. Anybody can do well at something he loves."

"Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power."

"I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice."

"I like the libertarian view, which is to leave everyone alone. Even as a kid, I was annoyed by people who wanted to tell everyone how to live."

"My old drama coach used to say, `Don't just do something, stand there.' Gary Cooper wasn't afraid to do nothing."

"Hollywood, as everyone knows, glamorizes physical courage. If I had to define courage myself, I wouldn't say it's about shooting people."

"There's a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven't. You just do the best you can."

"I think those soldiers deserve a certain amount of respect. I feel terrible for both sides in that war, and in all wars. A lot of innocent people get sacrificed."

"This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."

Tina Fey

"Somewhere around the 5th or 7th grade, I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me, but after awhile it became part of my identity."

"I'm not that good looking, nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen."



"You can't be that kid standing at the top of the water slide, over-thinking it. You have to go down the chute."

"You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at."

"It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film."

"When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it's not that instant kind of funny."

"A Harvard medical school study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss."

"If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs."

"Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion."

"I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement."

"I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math."

"I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey."

Adam Sandler

"My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire."

"I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron."

"Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot."

"A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard."

"Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it."

"I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing Maria from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up."

"I do love the films I've done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that."

"I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead."

"I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at."

"I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience."

"If I do die, it'll be in America. And it won't be on a snowboard. It'll either be on a toilet or hanging from a belt, naked."

Eddie Murphy

"I'd Like to produce, direct, write, score and star in a film in exactly the way Chaplin did."

"I don't think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does."

"I'm relaxed about my career. I've been making movies for over 20 years, so I've earned  at least the right to relax."

"I've made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I've mostly been successful."

"You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don't work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won't work."

"In reality, all men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives trying to create a masterpiece."

"If you went to my house, you'd see pictures all over of Elvis. He's just the greatest entertainer that ever lived. And I think it's because he had such presence."

"The only reason I did Showtime was Robert De Niro. I definitely consider him to be in the top five all time best actors."

"I would love to be in one of those Batman movies. Jim Carrey did the Riddler once and he did a wonderful job. Egghead, I could be Egghead."

"I know what I'm capable of doing and what I'm capable of not doing. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little afraid of doing a straight dramatic film. I'm not saying I couldn't do it. I'm saying I'm afraid to. Everybody is afraid of failure."

"Think of all the people who came off that show. I bet you could figure out the combined grosses of people who came off Saturday Night Live in the movies; me, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Mike Myers, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd. I bet it's $15 billion."

Lindsay Lohan

"Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, It's going to be a good day."

"I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible, but that's what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes."

"Say no more than yes, and just make sure you surround yourself with good people."


"I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being the `party girl'. I hate that. I bust my ass when I'm filming and when I have time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

"The biggest misconception is that I don't have my head in the right place."

"Hopefully people know me for my work, not my car accidents."

"I don't like to talk about politics. If you say you're a Democrat, that'll turn off Republicans, and that's half of your fan base."

"I have always admired and had enormous respect for Elizabeth Taylor. She was not only an incredible actress but an amazing woman as well."

"People go to college to find who they are as a person and find what they want to do in life, and I kind of already know that so it would be like I'd be taking a step back or something."

"I want to get married before I'm 30. And I'd like to win an Oscar before then."

"I still need to go through the process of proving myself."

"Life is full of risks anyway; why not take them?"

Paul McCartney

"I definitely did look up to John. We all looked up to John. He was older and he was very much the leader; he was the quickest wit and the smartest."

"I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird."

"When we were starting off as kids, just the idea of maybe going to do this as a living instead of getting what we thought was going to be a boring job, was exciting."



"The issues are the same. We wanted peace on earth, love and understanding between everyone around the world. We have learned that change comes slowly."

"The basic thing in my mind was that for all our success the Beatles were always a great little band. Nothing more, nothing less."

"What I do is I look for the positive side. I'm the only guy who sat down with John and wrote all those songs. It's me. I've got to pinch myself, I can't believe it. I just feel blessed to have known him and to have experience his presence so intimately."

"I'm really glad that most of our songs were about love, peace and understanding."

"It was Elvis who really got me hooked on beat music. When I heard Heartbreak Hotel I thought, this is it."

"I now realize that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache."

"Nothing pleases me more than to go into a room and come out with a piece of music."

"The things is, we're all really the same person. We're just four parts of the one."

"There are only four people who knew what the Beatles were about anyway."

Jennifer Aniston

"I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special."

"I always try to sleep for at least eight hours a night and, of course, water, water, water!"

"I always say don't make plans, make options."


"When something becomes successful, people love to just trash it and rip it down from the pedestal that they themselves have put you on."

"When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed."

"Everybody who has ever been snubbed, You know that is very humiliating."

"The most unconditional love that you can encounter is with a dog. They're excited the minute you come home, and they show the same amount of excitement everyday. They're loyal and they're always, always faithful."

"I was a Duran Duran freak. And freak is the perfect word to describe my behavior during that decade."

"I don't get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies."

"Do I have days when I've thrown a little pity party for myself? Absolutely."

"As an adult, I can't blame my parents any more."

"If we can say, 'I loved, and I received a lot of love,' then great. That's enough."

Steven Spielberg

"I never felt comfortable with myself, because I was never part of the majority. I always felt awkward and shy and on the outside of the momentum of my friends' lives."

"People have forgotten how to tell a story. Stories don't have a middle or an end any more. They usually have a beginning that never stops beginning."

"The public has an appetite for anything about imagination. Anything that is as far away from reality as is creatively possible."

"Disney is the birthplace of imagination and has always been as close to the worldwide audience as any company ever has."

"I wanted to do another movie that could make us laugh and cry and feel good about the world. I wanted to do something else that could make us smile. This is a time when we need to smile more and Hollywood movies are supposed to do that for people in difficult times."

"Before I go off and direct a movie I always look at four films. They tend to be Seven Samurai, Lawrence Of Arabia, It's a wonderful Life and The Searchers."

"I've never used John Williams to tell people how to feel. I use John Williams to enhance my vision and my thoughts emotionally from scene to scene."

"Being a movie maker means you get to live many, many lifetimes. It's the same reason audiences go to movies."

"When you listen. you learn. You absorb like a sponge and your life becomes so much better than when you are just trying to be listened to all the time."

"I always like to think of the audience when I'm directing. Because I am the audience."

"I want to be the Cecil B. DeMille of science fiction."

"All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives."

Quentin Tarantino

"My plan is to have a theatre in some small town or something and I'll be manager. I'll be the crazy old movie guy."

"I like it when somebody tells me a story, and I actually really feel that that's becoming like a lost art in American cinema."

"I have loved movies as the number one thing in my life so long that I can't ever remember a time when I didn't."

"To me, movies and music go hand in hand. When I'm writing a script, one of the first things I do is find the music I'm going to play for the opening sequence."

"I'm not James Cameron and I could never think like that. I don't think he could think like me either...but if I could go into a time machine and think like that and be able to do what he could do, that would be great."

"If you want to make a movie, make it. Don't wait for a grant, don't wait for the perfect circumstances, just make it."

"It's very important that every movie I do makes money because I want the people that had faith in me to get their money back."

"There's only one list that's more illustrious than the list of directors who won the Palme d'Or. It's the list of directors who didn't."

"L.A. is so big that if you don't actually live in Hollywood, you might as well be from a different planet."

"If I wasn't a film-maker, I'd be a film critic. It's the only thing I'd be qualified to do."

"I'm not a Hollywood basher because enough good movies come out of the Hollywood system every year to justify it's existence, without apologies."

"Sergio Leone was a big influence on me because of the spaghetti westerns."

Tom Hanks

"Everybody has something that chews them up and, for me, that thing was always loneliness. The cinema has the power to make you not feel lonely, even when you are."

"No journalist has ever been in my house and no photographs have ever been taken of where I live. I don't parade my family out for display, which is the way it will stay."

"There's a difference between solitude and loneliness. I can understand the concept of being a monk for a while."



"There is something basic about protecting land by taking it off the market. People should be able to enjoy where they live while at the same time protect the plants and animals around them."

"Eating everything you want is not that much fun. When you live a life with no boundaries, there's less joy. If you can eat anything you want to, what's the fun in eating anything you want to?"

"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."

"My work is more fun than fun but, best of all, it's still very scary. You are always walking some kind of high wire."

"As a boy I'd often spend my days biking on riverbeds and arroyos and come home exhausted. I realize now how much I took for granted having the natural world so close at hand. It wasn't until I moved away, first to New York and then to Los Angeles, that I realized how much I missed the outdoors."

"If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay."

"If they could offer up a way to go to the moon that wouldn't kill you, I'd sign up."

"I don't cause riots, but I do cause confusion. People freeze when they spot me."

Jane Fonda

"You can do one of two things; just shut up, which is something I don't find easy, or learn an awful lot very fast which is what I tried to do."

"I'm a very brave person, I can go to North Vietnam, I can challenge my government, but I can't challenge the man I'm with if it means I'm going to end up alone."

"Working in Hollywood does give one a certain expertise in the field of prostitution."

"I don't think there's anything more important than making peace before it's too late. And it almost always falls to the child to try to move toward the parent."

"When I start down a path that I know is the right path, I go with all of me."

"Being Henry Fonda's daughter got me started. But it didn't keep me working."

"The challenge is not to be perfect, it's to be whole."

"We're not meant to be perfect. It took me a long time to learn that."

"It's about time we make the well-being of our young people more important than ideology and politics."

"One part of wisdom is knowing what you don't need anymore and letting it go."

"When you can't remember why you're hurt, that's when you're healed."

"It's always great to rehearse on a plane because people think you're mad."

"It's never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy."

Conan O'Brien

"If you laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk."

"There's no cure for getting depressed. There's no cure for self-loathing or periods of it. But figure out enough about it so that when it happens, you can get over it and keep moving and just accomplish more."

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. No one in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

It's your first month at college and you haven't made any friends. Well, learn from my experience. You won't. Ever. You'll walk the earth a sad, lonely, red-headed freak. Then one day, inexplicably, you'll be given a TV show. Then people will have to talk to you. So hang in there."

"I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too."

"It's not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that's why I left NBC."

"I'm not comfortable with my own body. I shower with my clothes on."

"There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized."

"My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point."

"I've dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46."

"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."

"When all else fails there's always delusion."

Meryl Streep

"You just have to keep on doing what you do. It's the lesson I get from my husband. He just says keep going. Start by starting."

"The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter."

"Every single decision I make about what material I do, what I'm putting out in the world, is because of my children."

"There are wonderfully talented actresses. It's a rich field. There isn't as rich a field of material."

"I'm thrilled when I get nominated. I don't count how many and I don't remember how many I've had. I just know it's a lot."


"I didn't have any confidence in my beauty when I was young. I felt like a character actress, and I still do."

"We need art as much as we need good works. You need it like food. You need it for inspiration, to keep going on the days that you're low. we need each other in that way."

"Interestingly, young people don't come to you for advice. Especially the ones who are related to you."

"You don't have to be famous. You just have to make your mother and father proud of you."

"Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials."

"You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing."

"Instant gratification is not soon enough."

Tom Cruise

"I'm usually nervous to meet people that I admire because what if they're not cool or something?"

"I've learned to relax more. Everybody feels pressure in what they do, maybe mine is just a little different because there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish what I want to."

"I've never done work for money ever.If your choices are based on grosses and the film doesn't do well, what does that mean? It leaves you with nothing."


"I disagree with people who think you can learn more from getting beat up than you do from winning."

"When you have to cope with a lot of problems, you're either going to sink or you're going to swim."

"We live in a world in which we are able to communicate very quickly in many different ways, and yet we find communicating more difficult than ever."

"I didn't become an actor to have power, but it just happens that I have it and so I have a lot of opportunities."

"What do I want? I want a world without war. I want a world without insanity. I want to see people do well. And I don't even think that it's as much of what I want for myself. It's more what I want for the people around me."

"Awards are wonderful. I've been nominated many times and I've won many awards. But my journey is not towards that. If it happens it will be a blast. If it doesn't, it's still been a blast."

"When you look at life, it could be a lot better. It's not good enough for me to just do well."

"I always look for a challenge and something that's different."

"I'm passionate about learning. I'm passionate about life."

John Cleese

"The only way I can get a leading man role is if I write it."

"I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire and that's to get rid of all my other desires."

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me."

"If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth."

"I can do anything I want, I'm eccentric!"



"I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy."

"You go in and meet the head of BBC one and get an assurance about not dumbing down. And then, of course, a few months later he's been replaced by someone you haven't met."

"Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean uptight incompetent bully comes naturally to me."

"I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive."

"Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food."

"A man will give up almost anything except his suffering."

"I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do."

"He who laughs most, learns best."

Woody Allen

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? in that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose."

"If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right."

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."



"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions."

"I have never been an intellectual, but I have this look."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

"I took a speed reading course and read War And Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."

"In Beverly Hills they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows."

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."

"I failed to make the chess team because of my height."

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."

Elizabeth Taylor

"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."

"Everything makes me nervous, except making films."

"You find out who your real friends are when you're involved in a scandal."

"I have the emotions of a child in the body of a woman. I was rushed into womanhood for the movies. It caused me long moments of unhappiness and doubt."

"I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be open and I'm not afraid to look behind them."

"If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb enough to turn it down."


"I believe in mind over matter and doing anything you set your mind on."

"Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells."

"I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions."

Johnny Depp

"I guess I'm attracted to these off beat roles because my life has been a bit abnormal. The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled."

"People will say a movie bombed at the box office but I couldn't care less."

"I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it."

"We're all damaged in our own way. Nobody's perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single one of us."

"I always figured that once I wrapped a film, then anything beyond that that is none of my business. If I can avoid seeing the final product, then all I have in my head is feeling good about the experience."

"I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it"

"The real movie stars were Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Spencer Tracy, Montgomery Clift. How could I put myself in the same category as Clark Gable? Tom Cruise is a great movie star. Do I consider myself a movie star? I consider myself a guy with a good job, an interesting job."

"I'm an old fashioned guy. I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something."

"On a film you start to get closer and closer with the people you're working with, and it becomes like this circus act or this travelling family."

"Tomorrow it'll all be over, then I'll go back to selling pens again."

"I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it."

"If you catch me saying I am a serious actor, I beg you to slap me."

Jerry Seinfeld

"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge."

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV"

"Make no mistake about why these babies are here, they are here to replace us."

"Why do they call it a building? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a built."

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom."

"If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?"

"The four levels of comedy: make your friends laugh, make strangers laugh, get paid to make strangers laugh and make people talk like you because it's so much fun."

"I don't like great restaurants. I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special put them on the menu. I don't want any auditioning foods. When they make the real show, then I will eat them."

"I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular sized and my muscles are huge."

"The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy."

"The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning."

Steven Wright

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right."

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time."

"Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?"

"I bought some dehydrated water, but I don't know what to add to it."

"I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he's gone."

"I invented the cordless extension cord."

Eminem

"My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him."

"The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed."

"If people take anything from my music, it should be motivation to know that anything is possible as long as you keep working at it and don't back down."

It'd be stupid for me to sit here and say that there aren't kids who look up to me, but my responsibility is not to them. I'm not a babysitter."

"A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious."

 "I had nothing to lose, but something to gain. If I made an album for me and it was to my satisfaction, then I succeeded."

"We just kept moving back and forth because my mother never had a job. We kept getting kicked out of every house we were in. I believe six months was the longest we ever lived in a house."

"Throughout my career, I fed off the fuel of people not being able to understand me."

"I come from Detroit where it's rough and I'm not a smooth talker."

"It creeps me out sometimes to think of the person I was. I was a terrible person. I was mean to people."

"Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end."

" I need to keep working on myself for a while."

Oprah Winfrey

"I don't believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process."

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."

"I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes."

"You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once."


"It does not matter how you came into the world, what matters is that you are here."

"My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with."

"You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it."

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."

"Some women have a weakness for shoes. I can go barefoot if  necessary. I have a weakness for books."

"Having the best things is no substitute for having the best life."

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."

"I always knew I was destined for greatness."

Bob Hope

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

"Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

"I asked my good friend Arnold Palmer how I could improve my game, he advised me to cheat."

"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

"I have performed for twelve presidents and entertained six."

"Your ignorance cramps my conversation."

"The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."

"Three of my stocks went off the financial page, into the help wanted section."

"I'm an international player. I can say `shank' in twenty-seven languages."

"I don't like political jokes. I have seen too many of them get elected."

"I though 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe."

"The girls call me pilgrim, because every time I dance with one I make a little progress."

"You and me could make music together. Right now I feel like the philharmonic."

"It's nights like these that drive men like me to women like you for nights like this."

David Letterman

"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."

"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

"I love autumn in New York. The yellows, the browns and the rust...and that's just the drinking water."

"I cannot sing, dance or act. What else would I be but a talk show host."


"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date."

"If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."

"New York...when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you."

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."

"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines."

"We can all sleep easy at night knowing that somewhere at any given time, the Foo Fighters are out there fighting foo."

"There is no off position on the genius switch."

Bill Murray

"There's not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a twenty-four hour job."

"Groundhog Day was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award."

"No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between friends and family. But I have felt lonely many times in my life."

"I've had some success in movies, so I really don't think about success. You like to have it, but I'm not desperate for it."

"Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time."

"The first forty-five minutes of the original Ghostbusters is some of the funniest stuff ever made. The second one was disappointing because the special effects guys took over. I had something like two scenes and they're the only funny ones in the movie."

"I don't have a problem talking about my work, but I don't make a habit of talking about myself. There are people who are obsessed with information about my life, what clothes I'm wearing and what my exercise regime is. I'm not interested in that."

"The studios don't seem to foster good writing. They're not so interested in that, but they're more interested in what worked most recently."

"The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything. The better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself."

Mick Jagger

"As long as my face is on page one, I don't care what they say about me on page seventeen."

"I have never wanted to give up performing on stage, but one day the tours will be over."

"People think they know you. They know the things about you that you have forgotten."



"I am not a librarian of my own work. It's a good thing not to be too involved with what you have done."

"I've managed to avoid tattoos so far."

"I don't want to be a rock star all my life. I couldn't bear to end up like Elvis Presley in Las Vegas with all those housewives and old ladies coming in with their handbags."

"I'm totally anti-nostalgia; I never listen to old Rolling Stones records. I'm not really interested in them. They're funny, sometimes, to hear."

"It's an overwhelming feeling, the audience. That must be why most of these people never give up performing. Because they just can't go without that sort of rush."

"People love talking about when they were young and heard Honky Tonk Woman for the first time. It's quite a heavy load to carry on your shoulders, the memories of so many people."

" The Beatles were so big that it's hard for people not alive at the time to realize just how big they were. There isn't a real comparison with anyone now."

"I must be careful not to get trapped in the past. That's why I tend to forget my songs."

Kurt Cobain

"Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They're no good at all."

"If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop."

"I would like to get rid of the homophobes, sexists and racists in our audience. I know they're out there and it really bothers me."


"I didn't know how to deal with success. If there was a Rock Star 101, I would have liked to take it. It might have helped me."

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

"Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want."

"I've always had a problem with the average macho man. They've always been a threat to me."

"Yeah, I was run out of town. They chased me up to the castle of Aberdeen with torches. Just like the Frankenstein monster. And I got away in a hot air balloon. And I came here to Seattle."

"Jocks have completely taken over music. Just to get back at them, I'm going to start playing basketball."

"I never wanted to sing. I just wanted to play rhythm guitar, hide in the back and just play."

"It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than be loved for who I am not."

Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."

"I'm selfish, impatient and insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best"

"A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night."

"Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world."

"I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful."



"To all the girls that think you're fat because you're not size zero, you're the beautiful one, it's society who's ugly."

"I finally made up my mind I wanted to be an actress and I was not going to let my lack of confidence ruin my chances."

"Some people have been unkind. If I say I want to grow as an actress, they look at my figure. If I say I want to develop, to learn my craft, they laugh. Somehow they don't expect me to be serious about my work."

"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."

"I'm trying to find myself as a person, sometimes that's not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do. The best way for me to find myself as a person is to prove to myself that I am an actress."

"An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine."

"I'm very definitely a woman And I enjoy It."

About The Beatles

Timothy Leary: I declare that the Beatles are mutants. Prototypes of evolutionary agents sent by God, endowed with a mysterious power to create a new human species, a young race of laughing freemen.

Bob Dylan: They were doing things nobody was doing. Their chords were outrageous, just outrageous, and their harmonies made it all valid. I knew they were pointing the direction of where music had to go.

Billy Joel: The Beatles were the band that made me realise it was possible to make a living as a musician. When I heard the Beatles, I said "that's what I want to do".

Gene Simmons: The Beatles were a band, of course, and I loved their music. But they were also a cultural force that made it OK to be different. They didn't look like everyone else, and they still made the girls scream.

Dave Grohl: The three of us (Nirvana) grew up listening to the Beatles, then classic rock and punk. Somehow it all came together.

Liam Gallagher: I love the Beatles. What more can I say? I'm not gonna lie to you. They make me happy. And I think they were the best, and still are.

Steven Spielberg: I resented the Beatles at first because it wasn't a fad I discovered for myself. I wasn't a Beatles fan until I listen to the White Album and became an instant convert.

Leonard Bernstein: Three bars of A Day In The Life still sustain me, rejuvenate me, inflame my senses and sensibilities.

Johnny Ramone: my favorite artists have always been Elvis and the Beatles, and they still are.

Roger Daltrey: All you could do was to see them. We were backstage when the Beatles were on and you could just about hear a noise. It was just literally screaming.

David Lee Roth

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."

"The only thing I'm allergic to is criticism."

"Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello."

"The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot."


"You want a hero in the music world? James Brown. He brought a feeling to music without really using words. He's just famous for his sound."

" When large groups of people get together, their collective temperature goes up and their collective I.Q. goes down."

"Van Halen's up for a Grammy and half of us can't even spell it."

(About Sammy Hagar) "Sam throws a party. I am the party."

"Any kind of rock music is what I call high velocity folk music."

"We're not trying to save the world, that's U2's job."

"I change as the times change. I'm a reflection of what's around me without trying at all."

"It don't matter what your doing, just as long as you look good doing it."

"I know the world doesn't revolve around Dave, but i like to think so."

"There's only one David Lee. I'm the fun in Van Halen, always will be."

John Lydon

John Lydon AKA Johnny Rotten, lead singer of the Sex Pistols, was one of the Architects of punk music and fashion.

"Chaos was my philosophy. Oh yeah, have no rules. If people start to build fences around you, break out and do something else. You should never, ever be understood completely."


" The day I run out of ideas is the day I stop making records."

"Music can describe emotions far more accurately than words ever can. as soon as I realised that, I knew music was where I wanted to be."

"I lost Sid, my best and dearest friend, to heroin, and it's not nice. You've got to get away from drugs as escapism. There's nothing you need to run away from yourself as a human being. Quite the opposite. Learn to love thyself and all will be fine."

"Gandhi is my life's inspiration: passive resistance. I don't want to live in the Thunderdome with Mad Max."

"I'm surprised we aren't in jail for treason."

"The only place I have ever felt truly comfortable is on stage. I still get the nerves and the doubts beforehand, but on stage I feel that's my home."

(On Joe Strummer) "I miss him, by the way. There was something really good about him. He had a good little innocent spark in there, a real soul."

(On occupy Wall Street) "They had no leaders, which was genius. But unfortunately it always ends up with some hippy playing the flute."

"I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine."

Bette Davis

"Until you're known in my profession as a monster, you're not a star.

"There was more good acting at Hollywood parties than ever appeared on the screen."

"Success only breeds a new goal."

"I always had the will to win. I felt it baking cookies. They had to be the best cookies anyone baked."

"People often become actresses because of something they dislike about themselves. They pretend they are someone else."

"I survived because I was tougher than anybody else."

"Everybody has a heart. Except some people."

"I've always liked men better than women."

"The only reason anyone goes to Broadway is because they can't get work in the movies."

"I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box."

"I never did pal around with actresses. Their talk usually bored me to tears."

"When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch."

"I've always liked men better than women."

"I will never be below the title."

"I am just too much."

Don Rickles

Greatest Don Rickles Insults

To Frank Sinatra: "Hey, Frank. Make yourself at home. Hit someone."

To Ernest Borgnine: "Look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"

To Joey Bishop: "Joey Bishop, who passed away and wasn't told about it."

To Milton Berle: "I Love Milton, you were my idol when I was a kid. Now I'm getting shock treatments."

To Anthony Quinn: "A wonderful man, we had dinner the other night in L.A. Still eats with his hands."

To Johnny Carson: "You keep it up Johnny and I'm gonna tell everyone that you double date with Merv Griffen."

To Orson Welles: "Orson Welles has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life, they're all flat now."

To Ed Sullivan: "Once in a while Ed, move you're body or they're gonna throw dirt on you."

To Robert DeNiro: "He's one of the great actors of our time. You ask him."

To Larry King: "Look at you, you're schviting (sweating) all over the place. Do you have a home on Guam?

Julia Roberts

" I'm too tall to be a girl. I'm between a chick and a broad."

"I couldn't be an ingenue today, because the business has changed. I remember when you could dress for a premiere just by putting on a cute top. Now you have to be perfect and fabulous in every way, or you're ridiculed."

"I can direct breakfast, lunch and dinner. I take pride in my kitchen, but I'm not going to direct a movie."


"I don't think I realized that the cost of fame is that it's open season on every moment of your life."


"You can be true to the character all you want but you've got to go home with yourself."

"I'm an utterly average, total geek."

"Your face tells a story and it shouldn't be a story about your drive to the doctor's office."

"My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair."

"What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: I'm marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day."

"I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

I believe that the way you feel about your life will eventually show up on your face."

"Im just a girl from a little town in Georgia who had this giant, absurd dream."

Katharine Hepburn

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun."

"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased."

"As for me, prizes are nothing. My prize is my work."

"Enemies are so stimulating."

"Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do."

"Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four."


"Acting is a nice childish profession. Pretending you're someone else and, at the same time, selling yourself."

"When I started out, I didn't have any desire to be an actress or to learn how to act. I just wanted to be famous."

"As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move."

"If you give an audience a chance they will do half your acting for you."

"With all the opportunities I had, I could have done more. And if I'd done more, I could have been quite remarkable."

"the lack of work destroys people."

"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers...but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change."

"People have grown fond of me, like some old building."

Elvis Presley

"When I got out of high school I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis."

"Since the beginning it was just the same. The only difference, the crowds are bigger now."

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away."

"The only thing worse than watching a bad movie is being in one."


"I've tried to lead a straight, clean life., not set any kind of bad example."

"The image is one thing and the human being is another. It's very hard to live up to an image."

"When I was a boy, I always saw myself as a hero in comic books and in movies. I grew up believing this dream."

"When things go wrong don't go with them."

"I get tired of playing a guy who gets into a fight, then starts singing to the guy he's just beat up."

"I knew by heart all the dialogue of James Dean's films, I could watch Rebel Without A Cause a hundred times over."

(To the Beatles) "Look guys, if you're just going to stare at me, I'm going to bed."

"Rock and roll music, if you like it, if you feel it, you can't help but move to it. That's what happens to me. I can't help it."

"Those people in New York are not gonna change me none."

"I want to entertain people. That's my whole life. To my last breath."

Charlie Sheen

"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win There."

(About producer Chuck Lorre) "I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."



"look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls."

"There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins."

"Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."

"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

"If you're a part of my family, I will love you violently."

"There's a storm coming, and it's me."

"I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It's too much."

"The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."